Twisted Tale Endings: The Wizard of Oz by Renee Lishka

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Dorothy had been walking for miles along the yellow brick road with the Lion, the Tin Man, Scarecrow and little Toto straggling behind.  When they finally stopped to take a rest, Dorothy decided she needed a break from the men bickering over the directions.

“The point of the yellow brick road is to follow it!” Said the Tin-man.

“Yes, but if we take a shortcut we could get Dorothy there in no time.” Said the Scarecrow.

“Guys, you’re scaring me!”

“Oh hush up Lion!” The Scarecrow commands.

Dorothy rolls her eyes as she breaks off from the group.

“Where are you going?” Asked the Scarecrow.

“I gotta pee, do you mind? I’ve been holding it since we picked up the Lion.”

The three of them look away awkwardly, whistling.  Dorothy weaves in and out of the dark forest until she was far enough away from them.

“There’s gotta be a better way than this to get home,” Dorothy says to Toto. “I mean if he’s such a great Wizard why doesn’t he come to me?”

All of a sudden there’s a blaze of smoke and fire billowing up.  Dorothy looks aghast.  All of a sudden the witch appears with her screeching laughter.

“I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!” She cries.

“What do you want witch?”

Taken back by Dorothy’s sudden assertiveness, the witch’s evil grin melts with puzzlement. Quickly she shakes it off.

“I want those ruby slippers!” She cries out.

Dorothy casually sits on a moss covered log, leaning back.

“Why do you want them so bad?  They’re just shoes.”

“You brat!  They’re not just shoes.  They’re my sisters shoes and expensive.  Do you know how many times I asked her to borrow those?  She finally gets a house dropped on her and they immediately go to you.  Try to imagine how that makes me feel!”

“Yeah,” Dorothy nods. “I’d be pretty pissed too!”

To the witch’s surprise, Dorothy reaches down to slip the shoes off of her feet.

“What are you doing?”

“Here.” She said. “They’re so damn uncomfortable anyway and I don’t see why I have to go through all this damn trouble just to get home.”

The witch looks shocked.  She tries to maintain her intimidation by screeching at Dorothy again, but it doesn’t seem to phase Dorothy.

“You can cut the crap,” said Dorothy. “I’m not scared of you.  Just tell me how I can get home without having to walk a thousand miles to talk to a crazy old wizard.”

“Well, uh…”

The witch looks at the shoes and looks at Dorothy.

“I suppose I could give you a ride home.”

“Really?  On that?” Dorothy points to the broom.

“You gave me the shoes I wanted.  Why not?  Where do you live?”

As the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion were still standing around arguing about whether not to take the shortcut, Dorothy and the witch shoot over the tall trees, both laughing as they gaze down.

“There’s no place like home!” Dorothy cheers as she and the witch jet off, into the distance, back to Kansas.

photo credit: encouragement The Wizard of Oz – Dorothy and Toto Return to Kansas via photopin (license)

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